I have been an open book for the past four years. I have written about my process as a woman & mother , as I interviewed a dozen women, synthesized their stories, healed my past & released the suffering of women for myself & others (book on hold due to intensity of the interviews & I am so needing a sabbatical from the dark places I visited in my psyche).
I also wrote about our crazy drive from Boston into Central America with our two young daughters (6 & 3 at the time). I was raw, present & vulnerable to those who read our two-month escapade. You know, typical story, heroine & hero are in suffering, go through their journey, and live happily ever after. Only that the happily ever after is not as rosy as as the honey moon like feelings days after we arrived back to the U.S., mind you in total culture shock.
I have been open. Why? Mostly in an attempt to talk about things that most of us don’t want to talk about, feel we can’t, or are afraid of what others will think if we mention the many ups & downs of life as a human being. It’s my way of making sense of my life, and my contribution in inviting other people to question the status quo & define their own path.
I’ve been criticized (mostly by some close to me), hugged for expressing what many feel (Mothers seem to connect to my honesty) and I have allowed people to know me more intimately than I know them (it’s always funny when people I pass every day smirk when they see me the morning after some intense post!)
Yet, I am feeling the energy of Discernment knocking on my door. The energy feels Masculine- yeah, definitely, trying to put structure and boundaries around my very flowing and spontaneous typing fingers. Discernment… what do I do with you? I don’t know how to be in relationship with you.
Discernment pounds down on the door as In-laws want a say on the safety of our daughters, as we so proudly show these young minds third world countries and other ways of being. Discernment of how to speak my truth in a loving and constructive way. And realizing that sometimes love is not soft, but to the point and at times hard to hear.
Discernment calls me to live as a porcupine. 🙂 Love this visual, by the way! I love how porcupines walk past predators completely untouched, aside from the curious sniff. Porcupines- only vulnerable when she turns her belly up. Discernment, tell me when to show my belly! Interesting that as we age, we show less and less of our midriff. Not out of shame for the fullness, but more because we honor the womb of our ever flowing creations.
My soul would cringe if I were to confuse discernment with hiding in a cave, or being in fear of what could happen.
So, how do you explain discernment? Is it wisdom or a calculated risk/ management analysis? What is discernment?