The Year of Discernment

I have been an open book for the past four years. I have written about my process as a woman & mother , as I interviewed a dozen women, synthesized their stories, healed my past & released the suffering of women for myself & others (book on hold due to intensity of the interviews & I am so needing a sabbatical from the dark places I visited in my psyche).

I also wrote about our crazy drive from Boston into Central America with our two young daughters (6 & 3 at the time). I was raw, present & vulnerable to those who read our two-month escapade. You know, typical story, heroine & hero are in suffering, go through their journey, and live happily ever after. Only that the happily ever after is not as rosy as as the honey moon like feelings days after we arrived back to the U.S.,  mind you in total culture shock.

I have been open. Why? Mostly in an attempt to talk about things that most of us don’t want to talk about, feel we can’t, or are afraid of what others will think if we mention the many ups & downs of life as a human being. It’s my way of making sense of my life, and my contribution in inviting other people to question the status quo & define their own path.

I’ve been criticized (mostly by some close to me), hugged for expressing what many feel (Mothers seem to connect to my honesty)  and I have allowed people to know me more intimately than I know them (it’s always funny when people I pass every day smirk when they see me the morning after some intense post!)

Yet, I am feeling the energy of Discernment knocking on my door. The energy feels Masculine- yeah, definitely, trying to put structure and boundaries around my very flowing and spontaneous typing fingers. Discernment… what do I do with you? I don’t know how to be in relationship with you.

Discernment pounds down on the door as In-laws want a say on the safety of  our daughters, as we so proudly show these young minds third world countries and other ways of being. Discernment of how to speak my truth in a loving and constructive way. And realizing that sometimes love is not soft, but to the point and at times hard to hear.

Discernment calls me to live as a porcupine. 🙂  Love this visual, by the way! I love how porcupines walk past predators completely untouched, aside from the curious sniff. Porcupines- only vulnerable when she turns her belly up. Discernment, tell me when to show my belly! Interesting that as we age, we show less and less of our midriff. Not out of shame for the fullness, but more because we honor the womb of our ever flowing creations.

My soul would cringe if I were to confuse discernment with hiding in a cave, or being in fear of what could happen.

So, how do you explain discernment? Is it wisdom or a calculated risk/ management analysis? What is discernment?


9 thoughts on “The Year of Discernment

  1. Asha,
    I enjoyed this entry enormously for it shows that you are living “the examined life” and it is good.
    Discernment shows contrast between what I desire and allow in my life and what I don’t want anymore because by its very “showing up” it is the wonderful teacher that we may not always love but it helps us grow. Embrace the contrast for it makes you stronger. Allow it to percolate and distill what within the criticism resonates within you that you heard it outside of you. Connect with those “dark places” because when you don’t hear it without, it has healed within.
    Many blessings,

  2. Enjoyed your post! It’s interesting that wisdom often does have a “masculine” feel to it, even though traditionally, wisdom has usually been thought of as feminine, as in the idea of sophia.

    Maybe this is because so much of human history has been dominated by an unredeemed masculinity, so in this context, when wisdom appears, it comes with a decidedly feminine feel–be more loving, nurturing, don’t try to control everything but let things grow naturally, etc.

    But, if our life has always had a strong feminine, then maybe wisdom then comes as a new kind of redeemed masculinity. To me, this points the Whole as being a masculine and feminine, in deity terms, Father-Mother, or both insight and compassion.

  3. Pingback: How do we develop discernment? « Metta Refuge

  4. @Lidia: I am perculating away!

    @Steven: hmm, had not thought about it that way. So, you are saying that if I am predominantly living from a Divine Feminine approach, the Divine Masculine comes in to bring balance, and visa versa?

  5. Asha, yes, something like that…at least, that’s how it’s tended to work for me. Not a 50/50 thing, or mechanical, or even a sense of “balance,” per se……I just think that what I call the Love that Loves Us brings out more and more of the fullness of being, the more we awaken to that Love…..this terminology is decidedly non-Buddhist, but I don’t care, I speak from my experience, and the light within always has the last word. 🙂

  6. Makes sense. I would say the, Buddha would not care about the terminology but more that we come into alignment with the Universe.
    Lidia? This is your area….

    1. No, the Buddha didn’t get caught up in words, or concepts, or terms. For him, the bottom line was skillfulness, does this word, concept, thought, feeling emotion, plan of action, word view, lead to suffering and entanglement or does it lead to unbinding and freedom.

      Those words I used, in the way I understand and use them, seem to lead to that undying happiness, and so, taking the Buddha’s own advice, I am a lamp unto myself—a small, little flickery lamp, but the best (and only) true lamp I’ve got. 🙂

    1. Hello Jules! Nice to meet you, and thanks for your kind remarks about my blog.

      I will indeed go take a look at your site…the title, “Meditating Hung Over,” make me laugh! Can’t wait to see what you’re doing there in your journey to “manful meditation.”

      With all best wishes,


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s