Inspired only 1% of the time?

During our meditation class I took fierce notes writing down the profound quotes my fellow participants shared or Lidia’s wise words. Ok, I doodled half the time (but Lidia told me this helps quiet my mind. Note to self: doodle more to quiet this very chatty mind of mine).

Ok, onto serious things, or life things. We had a lively discussion about the effects of goals. Some people proudly talked about 2009 and how they accomplished all their goals, while most of us sat in silence. Maybe we didn’t feel as adequate as the others who shared their accomplishments. So, I got to thinking about my journey with goals.

As a recovering Type A business-corporatee type, my goal setting has sure taken a shift. I have pretty long term hefty intentions (the new word for goals these days!) for my business. I mean, I even write them with a three year vision in mind (borrowed this from Fabienne Fredrickson-) I want to think big, dream large, climb Everest, you get the picture. Did I accomplish it?  Well, we did not hit the $1 million mark as I had hoped, but we doubled business, not bad, you say? Ok, I guess part of me can live with that too.

And then there is the personal part of what I accomplished in 2009. I moved away from goal setting or resolutions, whatever your name is for what one anticipates and expects of themselves for the coming year filled with hope, promises and change (internal change for most of us).

Here’s my new strategy: I have a theme for the year. I borrowed this from Elizabeth Barbour.

Last year was about my health. I wanted to feel, look, and (act) good. I wanted to do the internal work to see my body differently and yes, to lose weight (somehow it doesn’t matter if I am a size 2 or 8, I always obsessed about being thinner), eat better, and exercise regularly so that I could be healthy, and yes, live longer (thin & healthy mind you).

That was my theme for 2009. Did I accomplish it? Uhhhhhh. Hmmmm. Ok, thanks for letting me play my analyst affair… if I could quantify, I would say that I reached 2/3 of it. I got the feeling and looking good part down, now I just want to incorporate the movement (my less charged word replacing exercise) into my life. And let’s just say that on a good day I feel 2/3 accomplished. Oh, wait, that sounds a bit self deprecating. 2/3 accomplished? I mean, on a good day, I feel and perceive myself as looking good. Some days I eat crap and well, the whole goal goes to, well, you know where.

That was me in 2009, this is a new me! 2010 here I come. Ok, not so much, it’s still me. So, as I lunge towards that (gluten-free, mind you) chocolate chip muffin, I want to know the difference between DESIRE and CRAVINGS.  Ahh, yes, sensei, how does one know the difference?

I can almost hear Lidia say “Practice, grasshopper”. Right, practice. Who’s got time for that? And then she would say, “Ahhh, but you have choice- you have chosen the state of BUSY”

Now, I find myself in the rabbit hole of western existence. Busy. How proud we are of our busyness (or business?) Ok, I’ll let you sit with that one all on your own.

But, I was shown the light last night- thank goodness, rabbit holes can be oh, so scary and consuming.

My own, very well-thought out hypothesis (all of 2 seconds) is that when I am connected to the ALL (uh, insert your own word), I am in a constant state of inspiration and creation, and for the in between times, maybe goal (or intention) setting helps to give me structure and a place to dwell.

Connected place: when I turned to my husband and said, “I want to go to India”, and he turned the world upside down to make it happen. Or when I said, “I want to go to Hawaii” and I won some random trip to Hawaii 6 months later. Yeah, that feels like a connected place.

Goal place: my marketing plan, getting the kids out by 8:10am in the morning (that is more of a selfish goal than it looks), making a plan to clean my house (or kitchen at least).

Holy cow. You mean, the inspired stuff is when I am connected? And the rest of life is the in-betweens? Like that Dr. Seuss book, “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” where the character has the “waiting place”. That place stinks! Is that where I am 99% of the time????

Am I really just living 1% connected?

Ok, I’m sure I’m exaggerating because I have chosen a life where I have more say and flow with my days. Unless I have an appointment, I flow with my days. I love that. But maybe the inspired moment of whispering my dream to my computer (yes, I spend a lot of time alone) of visiting Hawaii is a collection of inspired moments coming into one sweet desire to visit Hawaii- To see natural beauty, meet some wonderful people and connect to a land of spiritual magic.

Maybe this is the practice Lidia was talking about?

May you all go deeper into what you truly want for this 2010!


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