Messy messy on the wall- what did I do to deserve this?

“Who the hell has time for that!” said my sister-in-law, when I told her I was waking up at 4am to sit in contemplation to clear pain from my experience. This may sound a little strange, but for a while I took on some responsibility to clear energies from our collective consciousness, and so I would wake up at 4am when nobody could bother me (ya got it, no awake 3 year olds lurking around). I would sit in front of a candle and really process what was bothering me and I would connect to how other women felt the same way. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t. But, if you were feeling what I was feeling, when I was feeling it, I may have gotten rid of it all for all of us. Or at least my super woman persona would like to think so! And maybe some of us do this work for the whole so that openings to heal can seem more obvious.

I remember being so focused on this commitment, but to be honest, these days I’m kinda feeling like my sister-in-law- who the hell HAS time for self-reflection anyway?

Thank goodness for Monday nights. Because last night I took a hard look at a very messy situation I encountered. And most importantly how my inner world created the outward manifestation of this messiness.

So, now the trick is to balance the Taking Responsibility with Self Forgiveness. No should haves, or should not haves. It just was, is, and now I have choice to learn, and move on.

We get back what we put out. So, be aware of what brews inside and what comes out. And remember if you can’t hear the message and learn the lessons, the messages  get bigger and louder, and messier too.

And as Lidia said last night, “Resolve it all yourself because no one else gives a shit”. messy



Asha Ramakrishna is  a writer, business woman, wife & Mommy. Connect with her on Facebook, under Asha Stories
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