When I created this painting I was exploring feelings of discontent and I craved change. Searching for new ideas, I contemplated my history and looked into the stories I told myself about my life for clues.
I discovered unrealized dreams and decided that I didn’t want a new dream, or a new life. I wanted to release the dream and the life I left frozen many decades ago, and like Elsa in the movie Frozen, I didn’t know how. If I followed the plot, only an act of true love could unleash the magic I remembered experiencing when I paint. Yet my heart was filled with the doubts, fears and confusion that were part of that same plot.
From birth on, our lives are peppered with experiences that in one way or another create a tapestry we humans tend to use to define us instead of inform us. Based on our interpretations of the emotions we experienced at any given moment, we create our own version of a history book. Quite often we cling to this history for dear life and it is a written-in-stone quality that most often keep us from making our most cherished dreams a reality.
While acting the happy-go-lucky role, we are secretly beseeched by fears we perceive as impassable road blocks or impossible Himalayan peaks to scale. We move through graduations, jobs, relationships, marriage and kids, and these life situations serve to filter and re-define happiness and fulfillment. We manage to thrive and even appear content…until we find the specter of discontent. In 2009 my discontent reached a level of despair, for despite a successful interior design business and awesome clients, I was never quite happy. I worked too hard; I was too busy and had an underlying craving that neither food nor wonderful lovers could satisfy.
Clearing The Path is the name of this 24” x 24” acrylic and mixed media on 1.5” wrapped canvas. In the process of painting, I saw that it was precisely my history and my attachment to it that was keeping me from manifesting the life I desired. In an act of true love for myself I went into the studio and opened wide my personal book. I looked at my birth, my family, my friends, the things I love, the roles I played, the places I lived, my beliefs, the emotions and thoughts that supported them, and my dreams. I found that the more I retreated into my center, what I call the Spirit-Within-Me, the clearer I became. Upon completing the heavily impasto paint, the brush marks, the embedded wheels, the imps, the crystals, the broken chains and twisted shapes, I decided that in order for my dream to manifest, my personal history had to go!
The artwork helped me see what a true act of love is to clear the path by releasing my history. It helped me realize what can really shine when I can repurpose my stories, as in the “mixed media” I add to the paintings, and like Don Juan says in Carlos Castaneda’s Journey to Ixtlan, I decided to have no more personal history, for “how can I know who I am, when I am all this?… Only one thing is indispensable for anything we do; the spirit. One can’t do without the spirit.” Yes, Spirit is always within me dispensing true and unconditional love!
I invite you to open your personal book and carefully scan it to see which stories you can repurpose as mixed media, and move to letting go of your personal history. You may decide to purchase the painting as a powerful tool to help you, as Don Juan said, to have the desire to drop it and “harmoniously proceed to chop it off, little by little.” Then, you may uncover your true dreams and set out to manifest them. In the next few weeks I will be sharing more of the journey I started back in 2009 and have been recording and practicing. The practice led me manifest my dreams, speak my truth and achieve more joy and happiness than I could possibly imagine.
The painting is available by clicking on the New Works Gallery on LidiaScherArt.com and your comments are gratefully received. Have a great week everyone!