Deeply buried inside resides our natural brilliance; our Buddha nature. It takes a great effort to dust the feathers we hide under and emerge transformed. Embracing Fear and playing with it is the only way to move on from the places in our life where we are stuck and unhappy…
Those who have followed me over the past 5 years know that painting is what gives me the most pleasure. I paint for the sheer beauty of the experience and while I hope you all like it and support my work, I create art with abandon. I can do so because… I learned to Play with Fear.
When I recognize Fear’s presence and invite it to be part of the process, an explosion occurs from deep within my soul and I experience unabashed happiness. The transformation renders me grateful for my work, my family, my friends, my clients, my colleagues, my neighbors, my home, my garden, my indoor plants, the seasonal changes, the music I hear, and the choices I make, I am thankful for those I often spend time with and for the people I no longer see. Because I learned to accept and play with Fear, today I stand at the doors of the Temple of Light.
Playing with Fear is accepting that all that I have been and done, it is and has always been just perfect. It is recognizing that I have done my very best given my understandings at the time; or whatever I saw as truth then. I know that it was and is just right, because all of it has served me to be who I am today. I take full responsibility for feeling needy, demanding, loving, caring, boastful, wanting, experimenting, pushy and remorseful, brilliant and stupid, kind and blind. I am and was always riding my “bicycle”.
In control of my handlebars, I don’t always understand who crosses my path at the moment, or the full import of what I am experiencing within and without, but I know that it is happening in the “movie script” I created with my thoughts, my beliefs and therefore my behavior. I pay attention and make connections. I search for the nuggets of learning. As I sincerely apologize to others and myself for my incorrect perceptions, I embrace that I am here to learn and create and that this is my adventure, my journey. But Fear teaches me that the only way to engage in learning and growing is playing with a full deck of cards and with diverse company at the table. So I fumble, I put out my cards; I see what others put out and I Play with Fear.
Playing with Fear is accepting that I may not be right, that the game I am in may not be what I am ready for now or ever; that the partners I am with may not be the ones I will complete the journey with and at all times, honor my feelings. I have the power and responsibility to change course, to put out a new card, to get a new vehicle, to reflect and re-assess directions. On life’s roadways, I need to mind my manners and ride with presence or I may cause harm for myself and others.
Fear also helps me to see that I do not have the right to interfere in another’s learning path. I do not know what is best for them. Best can be seeing their brilliance and accepting those in my life just as they are in their journey, offer love and presence within the relationship. I can help and not enable. I can love and not expect love back. I can share my Light and not wait for another to keep it bright and shining. Play with Fear and dare to enjoy this moment because it is the only one we have.
The original of this painting went to someone who was inspired to invite Fear and Play. You can click to purchase a blessed giclee limited print on canvas of Playing with Fear and see if you can dust your feathers, enter the Temple of Light and find your brilliance! Have a great week…