When I started this painting, I had been focusing my meditation on moving well beyond the portal and ready to move into the new, however it showed up. Ready for the adventure, I started to apply the blue and magenta underpainting to see if there were still gaps between who I am and who I present to the world. A bit of shakiness surfaced as I took the first steps and reflected on the times that I lack trust in myself and the path that I am on. I know that mistrust is based on fear.
The fear was centered on a long term project I recently took on, in where I play a role I wanted to leave behind. The manner in which this project appeared could not be dismissed and I chose to heed its calling. Maybe it looked the same, but some new learning could be afoot, I thought.
Doubts bubbled up like hot lava. Did I understand this direction? Will I be supported? Will I be successful? What yet to uncover demons will I see? Will I be strong? Will I survive? I know these questions are remnants of what I knew from the past. But life beyond the portal was about being centered and trusting, no matter what and how it showed up.
During the second session I started chanting the Gayatri Mantra as I dipped rice paper in an acrylic medium and then applied it onto the blue ground. Feeling lost, I accepted the wandering state and wrapped myself into the creative process… AUM BHOOR BHUWAH SWAHA,TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM…I chanted and played with the wet paper.
The following session, found me dabbing yellows, oranges and silver tones to the now dried rice paper. Feeling a clear direction, I added silver lines straight from the tube, creating connections and reaching toward the edges of the canvas, as if I was reaching for the beyond for answers… BHARGO DEVASAYA DHEEMAHI…DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODAYAT…
I started the fourth session with zeal, as I selected tiny specs of turquoise colored foil and began to apply it one by one with tweezers, to where I sensed a shape surfacing… AUM BHOOR BHUWAH SWAHA, TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM…BHARGO DEVASAYA DHEEMAHI, DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODAYAT…took me into four more sessions where I continued to apply the tiny specs. I was experiencing patience and acceptance, for I could not hurry the process, whether painting or understanding where I was going and what was the new job’s significance in my path.
I sat in front of the canvas on the following morning and thought I was done for now, when a tiny Zincite crystal rolled down from a shelf onto the floor of the studio. This was the clearest message that creation and transmutation at the deepest level was occurring. Zincite spontaneously grows around the ventilation shafts of zinc smelting plants. I looked around and picked a new enamel material I have been using as its color and texture resembled Zincite’s. Creating gold pools to pour the deep red jewel-like paint, I felt that I was ready to destroy the old lifestyle with the outmoded thinking and musty fears to embrace the light self that I am, regardless of what I am doing.
The Zincite-induced fire bursting forth from the second chakra of the Light being at the center of the painting does not look for old patterns. Instead, it seeks to open to the infinite unknowns . I am this Light being and I trust implicitly that what I am doing at any moment is simply perfect. I see the figure now emerging brilliantly and as it cools, its brilliance increases. No more fears, no more mistrust…AUM BHOOR BHUWAH SWAHA, TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM…BHARGO DEVASAYA DHEEMAHI, DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODAYAT…
The Gayatri Mantra is one of the oldest of Sanskrit mantras, and generally thought to be amongst the highest and most powerful mantras of the Hindu traditions. It is often referred to as “the Mother of the Vedas”, for in the scripture known as the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna proclaims to Arjuna – “Among all the mantras, I am the Gayatri”. It is said that chanting the Gayatri Mantra removes all obstacles in the path and opens the way to increased wisdom and deep spiritual growth. I feel free, no gaps to fill for I am whole and fully open!
You can find the original painting by clicking Gayatri Mantra. Together with the chanting, you will sure remove obstacles on your path!
Have a great week.