Trying to make meaning of an event that sideblinds us is like trying to find recognizable forms in an abstract painting. In either case, the difficulty rests in the source of the meaning. The tools we use are honed in the past; in what we already know.
Similar life situations were earlier given a label by a mind that latched unto an emotion. It then stored this construct in a library where ego loves to roam. When a present situation resembles what we then felt, ego readily serves it to us on a silver platter.
When you look at this 11.25″ x 7.5″ mixed media painting on cork, what do you see? Come on…Your ego-mind is feverishly roaming “the library” for images you know and can attach to the painting, so you can “understand it”. You may even look at the title for a clue and then, ahhh…all is right. You got it!
I know, because as i sat to meditate with the painting, the difficult scenes from the day before danced on its rough surface. All of a sudden, my thoughts became recognizable shapes filled with meaning, unintended when the art was created. Like the situation i faced, I found myself looking at a roaring stream I could choose to cross.
I heard my anger rising in concert with the loudness of the bubbling waters my mind construed. The foaming liquid became the mirror where I could face and accept the hurt I was feeling. I even saw that I could hide in the dark bushes, choose to cross to the other side and explore that shore, or travel up the seemingly perilous middle path of forgiveness toward a brilliant day dawning just beyond the tall spruces. An abstract painting can do all that?
Anger, sadness, misery are all familiar states. Jumping on branches and boulders to explore what is on the other side of self-pity takes courage. We could decide to work with the feelings and emotions and transmute them, but this means to embark on an adventure into unknown lands. The ego, ever alert is poised with advice on all the cons of undertaking such a journey. Best to safely remain in the dark bushes, we are told. After all ego says, it is “their fault”. We were wronged and can be mad as hell.
But the water is a mirror, reflecting what is real and true. It presents us with an opportunity to see and accept the pain, learn from it by forgiving ourselves and “the other”. and move to a place where we can be free and practice our newly minted skills.To get to the land beyond the horizon, we must tiptoe on crackling branches fearing a painful death. Yet staying in the bushes is a death of a different kind…
I decided to venture on the rocks, staying fiercely focused on the journey, knowing that every step matters. Every now and again, i glanced at the blazing sunshine to remind me of thrilling possibilities ahead, if I can shed on every rock, some baggage from the past and give the new a fair chance.
I decided to call this abstract painting Journey to Forgiveness. None of the images I describe are real or intended. However, if you decide to purchase and meditate with it, you may write the next post. Click on Journey to Forgiveness,
Wishing you all courage and peace at the dawn of 2015.