My dad left his body four years ago this past week but his spirit has been very present to me since. I feel his energy when I need to make a decision, and could almost touch his excitement when something good shows up; especially if it is related to my artworks. This was not always the case when he was alive.
Fortunately for both of us, we were able to recognize how his reluctance to accept my desire to make painting my career, affected us equally. We healed the hurt during his lifetime and he became my biggest fan.
I had to do some personal work. The ego mind refused to quit the post it held for decades.
In meditation and contemplation I reached out to the “little girl inside me, still clamoring for love and acceptance from her daddy” by embracing her pain and reassuring her that we had done OK. We were now successfully moving toward our cherished dream and we were deeply loved.
Convincing her took a little more.
It took courage to face the “mirrors” I encountered through my present relationships and to transform the pain they reflected.
It took patience when life situations presented me with the opportunity to play victim or choose empowerment.
It took consistent practice to dwell in self-acceptance and lots and lots of self-love.
Slowly all mirrors began to reflect happiness, joy, and peace and the little girl now happily dwells within bright light.
Through painting I learned to suffuse her in my own present light and connect us both with the light of Spirit all around us. I also became aware that this light is in every person and in everything. It was in my dad too, always.
He did not know of it.
He spent this journey fearful of fulfilling a dream he did not quite understand and grasping for control of his destiny, he lived unaware of his abilities to map a successful outcome.
He battled fierce disappointment and refused to look into the “mirrors” that others presented to him.
But he loved his girls, more than life itself and he loved his bride of 67 years. In his own words, nobody could replace her!
He died in his sleep and the inspiring conversations we enjoyed in the last two years of his life ended on May 21, 2012.
I yearned to continue our chats and I wanted to help him to come to a new understanding.
On the fourth anniversary of my dad’s passing I was not only able to complete an homage I started three years ago, but as I worked on it some more, and as I heard his “dictation”, I too gained a new understanding of this man’s life and the role I watched him play.
For this artwork I found an old photo conveying that he is very much at peace. He now knows that his example helped three women shape their lives and wants us to know that he knows his true dreams. These are now fulfilled.
To Oscar Kenig’s spirit, love is everywhere and castles of possibility surround his brood. His vibration is ever present to all, if we choose to acknowledge it, encouraging us to follow our dreams, speak our truth, and guide our children without dictums, giving them plenty of room to grow into their own perfect lives, whatever these might be.
The biggest gifts he left were examples of acceptance and forgiveness. We witnessed our father become an example of a life well-lived, to his siblings and their families. This is humbling and life-affirming.
On that May night, he left this life feeling loved and we felt loved. Now we both have A New Understanding.
The artwork carries my father’s gifts and it is not available for sale.