This painting sat untitled for about month and it followed Perfect Order as part of a series exploring the fluidity of inks, both alcohol-based and acrylic-based. The medium demands full presence and the willingness to trust unexpected surprises as part of the creative process.
After several meditation sessions, I began to see implications of an ocean disturbed by a sunken ship still oozing fire.
Mmmm…something in my life has ended or was about to end.
I continued to look within to understand the lesson the painting was offering me and by yesterday, I realized that it was actually preparing me to navigate the unexpected events I experienced in the past two weeks.
Osho said that when we create we are closest to God, and the more creative we become, “the more godly we become”. I call it being in a state of open-heartedness.
In painting we may reflect our present godly experiences, and we can bring forth visions of what is yet to manifest. I first interpreted this art as a reflection of the ongoing drama related to the US government. I saw the shipwreck as a symbol of societal confusion, fear and divisiveness, ending in a breakdown.
It also mirrored what I was about to experience in my personal life.
Not unlike working with inks, I was surprised when an old script came up to the surface during an interaction with a loved one. Relationships are not different from working with the fluidity of my chosen medium.
Staying present to what was unfolding, I struggled with trusting that the unexpected conflict would yield precious gifts and succumbed to the fire of heated emotions. I left the present and swam far back into the arms of a frustrated little girl, who was unable to understand her daddy’s demands for “better behavior” and what made her good and lovable.
Still struggling, I remembered the now long healed rift in the relationship with my father and focused on applying the lesson to the present circumstances.
I soon realized that a breakdown was needed.
And when I later noticed the bright lights in the art’s foreground I knew that these were beams of my inner eyes to help me discern how to navigate life After the End.
I had been unable to give a title to this artwork, because I first had to own that I am OK just the way I am, and that nobody can judge my goodness, my lovability, my way of life and my behavior.
I take full responsibility for my actions and know that how I behave is always the result of who I believe I am at a moment in time and what resources I am able to see. The same holds true for everyone. We may hurt others, we may have stayed in a relationship too long and we may have allowed others to decide what we could and could not do.
While I regret my part in the relationship, we cannot undo the past.
After the end we are each called to create a new vehicle. It may not be a boat, or a plane or an automobile. It will need to look and feel different from what was before. If we rebuild the old jalopy; we will be using outgrown tools.
We must create an empowering new life!
And like painting with inks on a fresh canvas, we co-create with god by acting from the heart and allowing our inner lights to guide the way. With presence and the willingness to trust that unexpected surprises are part of creative living, we will all know what to do after the end.
If you get the original or blessed prints this art will guide you After the End.