A surreal landscape seen through unrecognizable greenery is crowned by heavily textured warm yellow and orange shapes. We are not sure if this represents a wall, curtains above a window, or if we are looking at a bright sunshine. Is it a landscape within a landscape? Could it be that we are looking at the past we are ready to release from a place where new growth is taking place?
I worked on this diptych over several weeks and nearly completed it during a 6-hours online art festival called Buubblefest, where artists of all disciplines created inside a 6 feet “bubble” while the general public watched. It was designed to keep everyone safe from contracting the COVID-19 virus in the Spring of 2020 and in many ways, it defines the art.
Meditating with the finished painting this past week, I immediately grasped what it was teaching me. In contemplating the flow of my life over the last 5 months, I saw that while physically and mentally unable to engage in seeking work, the work nonetheless showed up as wonderful clients, art commissions. original art and prints sold. Then, I found myself easily and effectively helping others in ways I had not previously acknowledged. The trend continued as the pandemic caused society to come to a stand still and retreat indoors 2 months into my recovery.
I began to see that the universe was delivering clear messages about taking time to go inward, be more self-reliant, trust my instincts, allow for people and situations to come to me, be helpful toward others, and just be and do what feels good and right naturally and without trying to achieve anything.
As some parts of the country started the process of opening for business without positive health data, the inner work we have all been doing sharpened our consciousness, so that when we witnessed injustice and inequality we could no longer turn away; we found ourselves unable to ignore an old societal wound in need of healing.
Now we demand concrete change and are willing to work for it. Massive protests and demonstrations all over the world indicate that the oppressed are being heard and hopefully this will lead to positive changes.
Many readers may see themselves reflected in my experience and realize that in fact, these last few months bore many gifts. For what these events mirror back to us may begin the process of healing at all levels.
Personally, I realized that I was ready to let go of the destructive thought patterns and behaviors still latent in my life and that kept me from allowing myself to live life fully. If I take the painting as depicting a window, I see that it reflects my deep commitment to let go of past relationships that are not mutually enriching. I am ready to admit to self-sabotage, fear, sadness, disappointments, and sorrow and work to transform them into self-respect, trust, joy, hopefulness, and laughter. No longer do I wonder about what amazing feat I need to accomplish following my heart attack earlier this year, or ponder what a momentous shift I meant to go through to justify missing death by a thinnest of hairs.
From my “window”, I am affected by the current political climate and long overdue societal unrest and respond by creating work that will surely affect people and spaces in positive ways. When I feel physical pain and look into the spiritual jewels and teachings these bring, I see that I already released lots of densities from my body and the lighter me loves the way I feel and look. The self-love I bestow upon myself has already yielded acceptance, peace, compassion and understanding toward what I wish to change and enabled me to shift my perspective to trusting life’s rhythms.
I look into my inner window and my heart says, “It is time to live without inherited false mind constructs and allow for the truth of who I am to come forth manifesting what needs to come through me as me in benefit to all!”